Support AbsoluteWrite

It looks like AbsoluteWrite won't get its database back without a legal fight. Jenna and her band of Merry Men (ie, the Heroes of the AW World) will be recreating the forums using the cached pages that members have been saving for the last week. It's amazing what you can find on Google with a little patience and a lot of free time. My hat is off you to folks.

Any spare pennies will be greatly appreciated in our efforts to restore AW as a valuable resource against scam agents, as well as a friendly community for writers.

A few more friendly links:

The AW Refugee Camp. Come check us out, and migrate back when the AW forum is re-established.

Dawno has a CafePress Store to support the AW restoration efforts.

Writer's Beware 20 Worst Agents. Always a good one to repeat.

Mac quoted it first, but it also bears repeating: You can't stop the signal.

Bauer versus Bauer

This is what a small group of writers do in a chat room on a lazy Sunday afternoon. And just an FYI, the real Barbara Bauer and Jenna Glatzer were not actually there. But I'm sure y'all knew that.

The Actors
Peggy as Barbara_Bauer
Chaostitan as Jack_Bauer
Serenity as Tony_Almeida
and
Shwebb as Jenna_Glatzer


It was a dark and stormy night....no, seriously.

[Barbara_Bauer] Jenna are you ready to rumble?
[Jenna_Glatzer] Barbara! DArling! I'm a big fan! me/ smooches Barbara
[Jenna_Glatzer] me/ smooches Barbara
* Barbara_Bauer wipes off smooch
[Jenna_Glatzer] Okay, now it isn't working. Crapola.
[kaostighten] backslash is in the wrong place Jenna
* Barbara_Bauer reminds Jenna itt's /me
* kaostighten is now known as Jack_Bauer
[Jack_Bauer] I've warned you about using my name, Babs.
[Jenna_Glatzer] Oh. /smooches?
* badducky indignantly munches on baby carrots.
* Barbara_Bauer waves to Jack
* Jack_Bauer (smooches)
[Jack_Bauer] dang
[Jenna_Glatzer] oh. me/ smooches?
[Jack_Bauer] no
* Barbara_Bauer thumbs her nose at Jenna
[Jack_Bauer] move the / to the other side of me
[Jenna_Glatzer] me\ waving
[Jack_Bauer] yikes
[Jenna_Glatzer] nope. won't work for me!
[Jack_Bauer] its /me waving
* Jenna_Glatzer waving.
[Jack_Bauer] There ya go!
[Barbara_Bauer] :)
[Jack_Bauer] Fire alarm is off again.
[Jenna_Glatzer] Oh-kay. I"m dumber than usual!
[Barbara_Bauer] Jenna: ha! I've got you all kerfuffled
[Jenna_Glatzer] I did. THanks.
[Jack_Bauer] I'll kerfuffle you, Babs!
* Barbara_Bauer ducks and swings at Jack
[Jenna_Glatzer] Babs, honey! You're going to die a slow, painful, riddled-with-links death.
[Barbara_Bauer] No, no, not the link death!!!
[Barbara_Bauer] Anything but that
[Zonk] *eyes BB suspiciously*
* badducky wades through the sea of satire and reaches for the pearl of widom.
* Barbara_Bauer informs badducky that isn't really a pearl
* Jack_Bauer tackles Barbara to the ground
[Zonk] *blinded temporarily*
* Jenna_Glatzer listening to iPod that peeps bought her.
* Barbara_Bauer kicks and screams
* badducky knows that it is a pearl if Barbara Bauer wants me to avoid it.
* Barbara_Bauer pinches Jack
[Jack_Bauer] OUCH
* Jack_Bauer karate kicks Babs
[Zonk] this is almost as good as the play...
* Barbara_Bauer falls on ass
[Jack_Bauer] Careful, lady! I killed a guy with my feet once!
[Barbara_Bauer] by the smell?
[Jack_Bauer] Yes.
[Jack_Bauer] Wanna sniff?
* Barbara_Bauer gags
[Jack_Bauer] Jack is kicking Barbara's azz. With stinky feet
[Serenity_] cool :D
* Barbara_Bauer runs up behind Jack and sucker punches him
[Jack_Bauer] Spoil sport!
* Barbara_Bauer doesn't like to play fair
* Jack_Bauer does a sit and spin, and hits Babs in the ankles
[Barbara_Bauer] mwa ha ha
[Barbara_Bauer] oof
* Serenity_ is now known as Tony_Almeida
[Jack_Bauer] "Barbara Bauer, you have the right to remain silent."
[Tony_Almeida] Can I help, Jack?
* Barbara_Bauer crawls over to Jack and bites him in the knee
[Jack_Bauer] Woohoo.....ack!
* Tony_Almeida Tony grabs babs by the hair
* Tony_Almeida and yanks, *hard*
* Barbara_Bauer pulls out the bobby pins holding her wig
[Jack_Bauer] Tony! Look out!
* Barbara_Bauer lets TOny have her hair
[Zonk] o no not the wig! *covers eyes*
* Barbara_Bauer staggers back
* Jack_Bauer stares at Bald Babs
[badducky] Well, this has been... Something.
* Jack_Bauer bows
* Barbara_Bauer cringes
* Tony_Almeida Tony stumbles back as he is shocked beyond reasoning by the hideous nature of the 'true' Babs
* Barbara_Bauer give the evil eye to Tony
* Jack_Bauer snatches the eye away and throws it into the ocean!
* Barbara_Bauer falls down, her power gone
[Jack_Bauer] Just in case
* Barbara_Bauer vanishes in a puff of smoke
[Jack_Bauer] Ha! We have foiled your evil plot! You shall ensnare and eat newbie writers no more!
* Barbara_Bauer is now known as Peggy
* Jack_Bauer is now known as ChaosTitan
[ChaosTitan] That was fun
[Peggy] and only a faint "I'm a real agent" could be heard, carried by the wind


Special thanks to Zonk, badducky, Peggy, Serenity and Shwebb for participating in this cathartic farce (or ignoring us while we participated).

AW and X3

The gem that is AbsoluteWrite.com is back. The main site has a new home. The forums will take a while, but things are starting to slowly chug back to normal around the 'Net as I know it.

Yay!

I went to the theater to see X-Men 3: The Last Stand tonight. No real spoilers (because you seriously don't want to be spoiled!), just some quick thoughts:

Eric Dane as Multiple Man. Seven Eric Dane's in a row. Yum.

Finally we see the original X-Men in one film: Jean Grey, Cyclops, Beast, Iceman and Angel. Very cool.

How awesome is Kelsey Grammer as Beast, quoting Churchill while whaling on the baddies. Woo hoo!

Amazing visuals, amazing effects. And the creepy kid actor from Birth.

Just now realized that Ben Foster (Angel/Warren Worthington III) was the guy who got all his face jewelry ripped out in The Punisher. With Rebecca Romijn. I wonder which Marvel franchise they'll pop up in next.

All in all, I enjoyed the film. And if you haven't seen it, stick around after the credits are over. There's something at the end you won't want to miss.

Save & Support AW

One of these days I'll get around to finishing and posting my review of the Desperation TV movie that aired Tuesday on ABC. For now, I'm continuing to support my fellow Absolute Write members in any way that I can.

MacAllister's blog has a nifty little button that leads to Jenna's book, The Street Smart Writer.



Jenna Glatzner, owner and operator of Absolute Write posted a heartfelt thank you to her blog. She is a generous person that I feel priviledged to have chatted with on the forum.

AW may not be what it once was before this Barbara Bauermess, but the people are the soul of a message board. And the people from AW are not going away.

The Continuing AW Saga

AbsoluteWrite.com has a new server. ::happy dance:: The main page is back up, but it will be a while before the forums are returned to normal. It's amazing, the power of this one obnoxious woman to affect the lives of hundreds of writers.

BarbaraBauer

Just doing my duty to reveal scam artists to the public at large.

Yet another great post by Miss Snark. She's my hero, with her gin pail and pointed stilettoes.

More links of note about the whole mess:

Teh Ebil Librarian
Mac
Google Blog Search

And just because I haven't posted a link yet, here's the Writers Beware 20 Worst Literary Agents.

Miss Snark is my Hero.

Read all about it.

NVNC ID VIDES, NVNC NE VIDES: AW Bloggers - and Anyone Who Hates a Scammer

NVNC ID VIDES, NVNC NE VIDES: AW Bloggers - and Anyone Who Hates a Scammer

Just doing my duty to spread the word. More on the AW/Babara Bauer issue.

Oh Where Is My Website?

When someone takes away my favorite things, I get a little cranky. Usually I find them right where I left them. Coffee? Check. Bed? Check. Copy of Watership Down? Check. AbsoluteWrite.com?

::silence::

AbsoluteWrite.com? Hello?

::peers around the room::

Nope, gone. What is AW and why is it gone? The whole story is posted at Making Light, a wonderful blog that I frequent often. Suffice it to say, both Barbara Bauer and Stephanie the Host are in for a tough month from unhappy AW listmembers.

I'm just sayin'.....hell hath no fury like an author scorned.

"They were friends of mine."

Just a few quick things about the "24" season finale.

One: Someone please hand Jean Smart an Emmy. The woman is amazing.

Two: I'm going to borrow a phrase from the eighties that sums up my reaction to the whole "Martha seduces Charles" bit. "Gag me with a spoon!" And boy, the President doesn't have much stamina, does he? I think he redefined the word quickie.

Three: Chloe has an ex-husband? Since he's O'Brien, and she's O'Brien, it makes me wonder just when she divorced him. Before we first met her, or after?

Four: Jack Bauer, you just won an all-expenses paid trip to a Chinese prison camp! What are you gonna do next?

I guess we'll all have to wait until Day Six to find out. And I, for one, am looking forward to it.

Radical Chicks

I respect people's rights to have their opinions. Most of the time, I respect their rights to share their opinions. I just wish people, especially high-profile celebrities, would just make up their damned minds!

Way back in 2003, Dixie Chicks lead singer Natalie Maines said something about President Bush that caused lots of public backlash.

Then the Dixie Chicks recorded a new album, and Natalie apologized for her remark. (Coincidence?????)

Now that the release date of "Taking the Long Way" is looming close, Natalie has once again changed her mind.

Seriously, woman! Form an opinion and stick to it already!

God's Weather Report

Apparently God told televangelist Pat Robertson that storms would hit the U.S. coast this year.

DUH!

The man is stupid as a stone if he thinks people are going to take him seriously. I'm surprised I didn't stumble across this link in the Funny Pages.

"If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms," Robertson said May 8. On Wednesday, he added, "There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest."

Yeah, and there might be hail in Florida and a drought in Seattle. Anyone who has access to the Weather Channel homepage could have made those predictions.

For his next trick, Pat will predict that fights will break out this year during professional hockey games....

Celebrity Sighting...Sort of

So a customer walks into the store yesterday. He is greeted, per usual standards, and allowed to carry on his merry way. I recognize him as a customer I've seen before, noteworthy because of his height. Tall, good-looking men always catch my eye.

I didn't think much of it until Dean, one of my co-workers, comes rushing up toward the cash stand, giddy as a six-year old on Christmas morning. He keeps hissing, "Redskins, Redskins," like it's a magical chant. For a moment, silly me thinks he's being un-PC about Native Americans.

Seems that Washington Redskins QB Jason Campbell likes to shop in the Retail Home Furnishings Store that I call hell...er, home.

Now if I was a football fan, I probably would have been as excited as Dean. Sports just don't thrill me.

Now if Patrick Dempsey had walked into my store, I probably would have peed myself.

Fight or Flight

It took me a few minutes to pick myself up off the couch last night after the season finale of Grey's Anatomy was over. I felt like I'd been sucker punched. But in a good way. In the way that only a truly amazing television show can punch you. Such exquisite pain.

I actually ranted a bit about the ep on a thread at the AbsoluteWrite message board, so I'll just repeat myself a bit.

The theme of the show was the fight or flight instinct, and I thought that Cristina was right in character. And as strong a person as she is, when it came to that moment where she had to be strong for Burke (for someone who always knows what to do), she froze. She fled. I never imagined her as the "flight" person, but that's what makes her so interesting.

And as much as I loved Denny, I can't help but see this as some sort of penance for Izzie. She's been acting like a total lunatic for the last four or five episodes. While I liked the whole "I cut the L-VAT wire" scene in the Chief's office, what she did was wrong. Period. Izzie has come a long way from the bubbly, blonde "Let's all be friends" girl she was in the pilot.

How much do I love Alex? The truth teller. No matter all the dumb ass things he does, or the stuff he spews from his mouth, in the end he always does what's right. He got through to Izzie when the others were powerless to help.

George and Kallie. Still not sure what I think about her, but I'm so glad George and Meredith finally had that talk. Where HE finally said he was sorry. Now maybe we can lay that unfortunate plot twist to rest.

Addison needs a big old hug. I think she knows that her marriage is basically over, she just doesn't want to say it. Or to hear Derek say it.

Poor Doc!

Let's see....the Prom thing was funny and sweet, but was anyone else a little confused? I mean, Camille passed out during intercourse, right? Don't people usually save that moment for *after* they've gone to the prom? Go, dance, drink the spiked punch, then go off to the hotel? So either she got two Proms for the price of one (which the poor girl deserved, I think), or she got busy before she even hit the dance.

How great does Patrick Dempsey look in a tux? ::puddles::

Meredith had her McDreamy!!!

And wow, what a scene!!! Although I spent half of it wondering who was going to walk in on them mid-coitus. Kinda glad they didn't get interrupted, though. "Meredith, what does this mean?" And no answer for him. ::sigh::

My advice for Meredith next season: Let Finn take you home. Give him a little good night kiss, lock the door, and then tend to poor Izzie. Think of your friend right now!

How long until next season?

The West Wing has come to the end of it's glorious run. Seven seasons of walk-and-talks, press briefings, budget meetings, back alley dealings, and Latin phrases (Post hoc, ergo propter hoc anyone?).

I admit, I am sorry to see the show leave the air. I love the transition to the new Presidency, with familiar faces in new roles, poised to create one of the best spin-offs this side of "Frasier." Alas, it is not to be. The actors have moved on, the sets are torn down, and there are new things on the horizon.

To celebrate a great series, I went back and picked out my ten favorite episodes, and put them in order, one to ten.

2.1 and 2.2 In The Shadow of Two Gunmen
4.19 Evidence of Things Not Seen
2.10 Noel
1.5 The Crackpots and These Women.
3.16 Dead Irish Writers
7.13 The Cold
5.5 Constituency of One
5.21 Gaza
7.18 Requiem.

Sudden Loss

It's amazing how a person that we never enjoyed the pleasure of meeting in real life can so affect us by their death. This time I don't mean a celebrity, although once in a while I do feel the loss (Christopher Reeve, Pat Morita).

This morning I found a forwarded email message sent by an RPG player on another board, informing me that a player on one my games had passed away. I read and reread the message, certain that I had misread the words. And as I came to understand them, I began to cry.

Jeanne was a wonderful, kind spirit. She always wanted to know how to do better, how to really interact in the game. She was funny off-list, and sweet in her messages. I knew that she had health problems, but never dreamed they were this severe. It will be difficult to imagine the game without her, and that sorrow is only a fraction of the loss that her family must be feeling now.

I have made some good friends over the years that I have enjoyed online narrative-based RPG's. A few I have had the good fortune to meet in person. I hope to make it to Scotland one day to meet another. In the meantime, this strange little past time that we all enjoy so much will have to be enough.

Jeanne, sweetie, you are missed.

24: 3 a.m. to 4 a.m.

Because the poster at the TVGuide.com Watercooler Blog was thinking the same thing I was, and said it much better than I could:

Speaking of Jack, it's not that I'm ignoring his exploits this hour — it's just that I'm so floored by his magnificent displays of badassery, I don't even know where to start. But here's one way to put it: Should I be at all concerned that I'm so utterly prepared for Jack to start laying waste to those around him, that the second things calm down and he gets a nice moment with Audrey, I'm vaguely anxious that he's going to smother her with a pillow? I'm sorry, you say the words "close your eyes," and that's just where my brain goes. Forcing an emergency landing at gunpoint? Of course. Leaping a fence to escape the Marines, his JackPack twisting in the wind? Perfectly natural. But, like, quiet tenderness? That's just plain unsettling.

Will We Ever Know Why?

Yesterday evening I received a call from my roommate. She told me she was just leaving work (about 30 minutes later than usual), because someone had opened fire at the Police Station two miles from her school in Chantilly, Virginia. She didn't know a lot of details, just that at several police officers had been shot, and that three major highways were closed off while police searched for a possible second suspect (the gunman was killed on the scene).

She said that someone had muttered "the dreaded S-word."

It took me a moment to figure out what she meant. Sniper. She had just moved to the DC Metro area during the Sniper Attacks. She lived through it every day, along with millions of other people. I had not yet moved out this area then, so I can only imagine the terror of those who remembered the feeling. The feeling of being hunted, of not knowing if crossing that Ikea parking lot in broad daylight would cost you your life. It's haunting.

I wonder if the Chantilly police will ever know why Michael Kennedy decided to open fire on them, taking the life of a nine-year force veteran. It's sickening and it's sad, moreso because the victim's family will never know Kennedy's true motive for what he did.

Sleep Deprivation

So here I am, sitting in my desk chair at 2:36 a.m., trying very hard to stay awake until at least 3. Why? Because my store (the Evil Retail Establishment) is getting a huge face lift this week. Furniture move, new cashstand, new wall fixtures of various sorts, and lots of annoying "higher ups" in and out of the building offering their two cents. Know that old saying about how a camel is just a horse built by committee? That's what this week has felt like so far. The camel is useful in its own right, but not as aesthetically pleasing as a horse.

What does this have to do with staying up late? I have to work from 8pm tomorrow until about 3 or 4 a.m. Friday morning. The last night of this horrific relay is at least within eyesight, but it requires one more very late night. Hence staying up so that I can sleep in until around 1pm. Blogging at this hour seemed like an interesting experiment. I can read this in the morning to see if I can make coherent sense this late, with Rhapsody blasting through my headphones (Kelly Clarkson's "Breakaway" at this precise moment in time).

I did find an amusing website about half an hour ago. Bad Cookie, for bad forture cookie fortunes. The first one I got was something about evil thoughts in my heart. Made me laugh.

A van got towed out of the parking lot a few minutes ago. I only heard it because the wrecker's truck has squealy breaks, and the sound was bothering the cats.

Here are my babies, since I've never shown them off here on the blog:

The tabby is Hannah. She's a little brat, and is more likely to scratch than allow you to hold her. The b&w is Anya. She is a lap cat (only when I'm at my desk), and rarely struggles when she's being held. You can hold her sideways, upside down, or by her armpits, and she just sits there. She'll glare, but she'll just sit there. If you have never seen a cat glare, it is truly one of the most hilarious things ever.

2:48 a.m. "You'll Be the One" by A Month of Sundays is now playing.

Only ten more minutes. Then I can crash.

I think I can make it...