Yes, I'm back on the AW Blog Chain Wagon. February's theme is Balance, and today I have the daunting task of following an amazing post from Ava Jarvis at Spontaneous Derivation. I kid you not. If you aren't following the chain and just happened upon this post, go read it.
Right now.
*taps foot*
Done? Yes? Good.
So balance. My handy-dandy Webster's Dictionary and Thesauras (Basic English Words for Daily Use) only gives two definitions. One: device for determining the weight of something. Duh, and not quite what I'm going for here. Two: agreement of totals in the debt and credit of an account. Close, but not quite. It's interesting that the only two definitions are both related to numbers.
The thesaurus half provides more useful synonyms: poise, stability, composure, equilibrium, equalize.
I'll add harmony to the list.
In her blog chain post, Ava mentioned being a Leo and some traits that go along with it. I don't read my horoscope or really know what it means to be a Cancer, so I checked it out. In particular, this line stood out for me: "When your level of security is undermined, particularly by domestic disturbances, you can lose your equilibrium, becoming irritable, hypersensitive, snappy, unforgiving, self-pitying and brooding."
Holy beans, that describes me so well. Especially over the last couple of months. I've been riding the ups and downs of the Query Train, attempting to land a literary agent. Family problems (snooze, snore, we all have them, I know) keep cropping up and sapping my energy. And let's not even talk about The Job From Hell right now, in which I can't seem to find any sort of firm footing.
So where am I? Emotionally exhausted, crabby all the time (no astrology-pun intended), snappy at my roommate and employees, avoiding phone calls to my parents, very down on my writing ability, and in moderate amounts of physical pain (did I mention my job is also physically strenuous?).
I've fallen so far away from my center I don't quite know how to find it again. How to strike the balance in my life that was there just three months ago. Unless it was never there to begin with, and I just never realized how far off-center I'd become. I don't know. Maybe I'll never know.
But my horoscope says that change is coming (of course, they all say that, because change is quite inevitable). It's nice, though, to believe in a positive change on the horizon. Something to nudge me back toward the center of things. Something to weigh down the opposite side of the scale and give me back my balance.
Next up is The Writer's Round-About.
The Unfocused Life
Auria Cortes
Spontaneous Derivation
Organized Chaos
The Writer's Round-About
Spynotes
Williebee
Even in a Little Thing
Spittin' (out words) Like a Llama
A Thoughtful Life
Life in Scribbletown
My Path to Publication
For the First Time
Green Diva
Polenth's Quill
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14 comments:
mega MEGA hugs!!!! That's what beating up on your roommate is for! :D Well, hopefully not literally beating up.
I know I've said this in a hundred ways on a hundred times as many occasions, but I will repeat it until I am blue in the face, or until you knock me unconscious: YOU ARE A GREAT WRITER.
You & me- after tax refund gets in next week: major night out and maybe a day at a local spa. Seriously. Can't have my best friend unbalanced.
Um... the 'unbalanced' thing probably didn't come out like it was intended. :P
So, "Interim Store Manager" for Christmas. In a Just world, if the store did well that should lead to "Store Manager" sans the interim. Yeah, I know, what "just" world do we live in?
But, not my point. Do you want it to? See, I increasingly find myself asking the questions: "How much money do I need?" and "Am I willing to give up writing time and resources to do X?"
Somewhere in the answers lies the balance...
Want to try something fun? Cut and paste the horoscope for Monday, swap the Leo for the Cancer, the Taurus for the Gemini, etc. Then drop it on a counter for folks to read during the day. See how many people say: "Oh , that is SO me!"
Point is: I don't care what the horoscope says. Know that you deserve some sunshine, some goodness. And when you aren't getting it? That's your chance to be the sunshine for someone else.
Wow, that's almost deep for someone from the shallow end of the pool.
Thanks for the post!
CatMuse from AW provides tarot card readings. If you ask a question she provides a free three card spread. Maybe the cards hold the answer. :-)
Williebee, James Randi did a similiar test with horoscopes. There was a classroom full of people and each person was asked how accurate their horoscope was. Most of the people gave their horoscope a 4 or a 5 - five being the best.
As it turns out, everyone was given the same horoscope. Regardless of what month they we born. It was actually amusing.
Many hugs. Crap jobs can really unbalance everything else in your life. Really, really unbalanced. {{HUGS}}
Horoscopes are not to be trusted. ;)
Although a lot of the newspaper horoscopes don't take the astrological calculations into account. I've done it; it's a heckuva lot of math. I can't say there is anything in it, but it's far more effort than little newspapers put into theirs.
As for Zodiac signs, I consider Cancers to be lucky. Loving, caring, and adaptable. Embrace the good points. The bad points tend to be over-dramatized, I find.
Plus sometimes we just aren't who the signs say we're supposed to be. I just am a somewhat typical Leo. In the Chinese zodiac, I am an atypical Horse.
Williebee - I decided several weeks ago that I don't want to be the Store Manager. I don't like the person I am right now.
And I love this: "Know that you deserve some sunshine, some goodness. And when you aren't getting it? That's your chance to be the sunshine for someone else." THANK YOU! :)
Many hugs to Melissa, Auria, and Arachne for your comments and support.
Hi, another AW blogger here. I like how you started off with definitions of balance and then moved towards your life. The mention of roommates and calls to parents gave me some nostalgia for days when I, too, had to deal with that. Good luck in your future endeavors!
Turning down a promotion because you don't like what the job is doing to you -- or even just deciding you don't want to go for the promotion when it's staring you in the face -- is a courageous move. Good for you for being that self-aware. Thanks for posting this.
Anything that deadens your soul isn't going to help your writing. I say this to myself three times before I do most things, because I too left an impossible job. It wasn't really my writing that was hung out to dry, it was me. My writing just happens to be my weathervane. Much more accurate than most horoscopes :).
Gill, I want to steal this: "It wasn't really my writing that was hung out to dry, it was me. My writing just happens to be my weathervane." It's great, thank you.
I liked the astrology pun, intended or not. I'm sure that change will happen if you want it to.
I used to not believe in horoscopes. I still don't know if I do whole heartedly, but mine actually started coming out right. Back in Jan. my horoscope said the 17th would be important for me, and I got a full request that day. Then, it said I'd have a big week this past week, and I had several important things happen. Sometimes those horoscope writers hit it on the head :-)
For the last two years, I have had long long stretches of time where I just feel like I am doing nothing right. I can't keep all the juggling balls up in the air at once.
In my case, I was perpetuating my own craziness. When a few bad things happened, I allowed myself to get flustered and stressed. I then took that overwhelmed feeling with me into the next part of my day.
Because I didn't deal with my feeling and get rid of the stress, I created more trouble for myself. I was not able to find balance again in my life until I blew out a deep breathe and banished the overwhelmed feeling. I try to enter each new task with a sense of capability, and I find it has helped me keep all the balls in the air much better. :-)
Best of luck to you.
Congrats on the full request, colbymarshall!
Thank you, everyone, for your comments. I have a lot of thinking to do. Hopefully the path I choose is the right one.
Also a Cancer and that quote describes me as well. I don't like sudden change, don't like to be off-balance. I get irritable. Thanks for this.
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