To Fong Who? Thanks For Nothing, Kevin Hearne....

Okay, so the blog post title only makes a funny pun if you've heard of a certain drag queen movie starring Patrick Swayze and Wesley Snipes. If not...well, go watch it!

Today is the day that fellow League of Reluctant Adults member Kevin Hearne pops his cherry! Not just by guest blogging here (although that must be pretty spiffy, too), but also by having his first novel released by Del Rey!



HOUNDED is the first Iron Druid Chronicles book, and it's fabulous. I'm not just saying that--I've read it. And blurbed it. And it's fabulous. Ever wanted to get in on the inner workings of the mind of an Irish Wolfhound? This is your book. (Oh, and the Druid dude is pretty cool, too.)

So without further blathering, here is Kevin's post. And with his post, a challenge for me. Because what goes around, comes around....

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The Challenges of Writing

Hi there, fans of Evy Stone! I’m not here to talk about the challenges of picking the right word for the right moment. I’m here to talk about the challenge of having the word picked for you and finding someplace to stick it in your book, or suffer the relentless taunting of your peers. Authors do this to each other, because the pressure of meeting deadlines and doing publicity and stuff just ISN’T ENOUGH.

A few months ago, Kelly challenged me to put Rocky Mountain Oysters into my next book. For those of you who don’t know, that’s the polite term for fried bull balls. It’s not the sort of thing that casually comes up when you’re writing about a Druid caught in the middle of a vampire territory war. But she double-dog dared me to do this, so of course I had to accept. I successfully inserted them into Chapter 14 of my current work in progress, TRICKED, which will be the fourth book in The Iron Druid Chronicles. (Book one, HOUNDED, is available now, and the next two books, HEXED and HAMMERED, will be released on June 7 and July 5, respectively.)

Now I get to challenge Kelly in turn. No, wait: I get to TRIPLE-DOG DARE her! Without further ado, here it is: In Dreg City #5, Kelly must use the word “fong” as a running joke. To fong is an endearing verb that means to kick the living poo outta something, and since this is an activity Evy and her cronies rather enjoy doing, I don’t think that’s going to be especially difficult. (Fong was used most famously in the movie A Knight’s Tale. You should watch it again!) The trick here is going to be turning it into a joke. Knowing it has to be a joke will freeze Kelly at the keyboard for WEEKS. I can already taste the victory, and it is sweet, my friends. Sweet.

Challenge delivered, I can now confess to you that Kelly has been completely sweet to me and does not deserve to be cruelly fonged by my evil machinations. She’s been a tremendous font of wisdom as I’ve tried to figure out the publishing biz as a newbie author, and she was even kind enough to write a blurb for the back cover of HOUNDED for me. I still think the first chapter of THREE DAYS TO DEAD is one of the best in all urban fantasy, and I’m as addicted to Dreg City as you are. Personally, I cannot wait for books three and four, much less the epic fonging to come in book five! Please give Kelly all the support you can in the comments, because she could always use the additional pressure of your high expectations.

Mwah-ha-ha-ha!