I've wanted to attend Coastal Magic Con since it's inception (and when it went by a completely different name), and I was very, very excited to receive an invitation to be a guest author for 2015. The con was well-reviewed by attendees, I would get to meet bloggers and authors I only knew from online, and who doesn't like Florida in February? I wanted to go. Badly.
And then a lot of things started to happen in 2014. Some bad things, some okay things, some things that were completely out of my control. But for the most part, the last half of 2014 kind of sucked for a variety of reasons. I held off cancelling for as long as I could, hoping something might turn in my favor, but it didn't. And while I did explain my reasons to the folks in charge, I never publicly stated why I'm cancelling. I want the folks who might have been looking forward to hanging out with me to hear it from the horse's mouth (so to speak).
A lot of different factors went into my decision not to go to CMC, but the largest consideration was finances. Someone on social media mentioned it was because Cornerstone Run didn't do well in sales, and yes, that's true. But that's only a tiny part of the financial big picture. Even if the books had sold like gangbusters, the money accrued wouldn't have landed in time to help me out. Since last summer, my living situation has been...altered. My expenses are higher while my day job income has stayed the same, and writing as Kelly Meding/Meade isn't bringing in much extra. After my expenditures for two different cons last August, I simply don't have the $1000+ to cover airfare, hotel, and food for a trip to Florida.
Another deciding factor was pretty simple: I don't have anything new to promote. I'm still taking a hiatus from writing/publishing as Kelly Meding/Meade, and the break is doing me good. I'm more centered than I used to be. I do still plan on finishing Dreg City at some point, but not today. Probably not tomorrow, either, or even next week. But at some point. I'm not finished writing paranormal stuff, I simply need to find my passion for it again.
I'll still be doing the usual stuff: Facebook, Twitter, and the occasional blog post. I'm not going away, but I might spend more time hiding in the corner than usual.
And so we're clear, this isn't a "woe is me" post. It isn't a "you didn't buy my book so I'm going to your con" kind of post. I was in tears writing to Jennifer, saying I couldn't come. This is me telling you why I can't be there this year, and that I'm so sorry for missing out.
And this is me saying I truly hope to see you guys there next year.