Tuesday, March 07, 2006

"It Just Got A Little Easier Out Here For a Pimp"

The Academy Awards. Or better yet, the Oscar-Meets-Sominex Awards. Was it me, or did the entire auditorium look like it was sleeping through the ceremony? Did they forget to take their happy juice? Host Jon Stewart was funny, you have to admit that. I love his brand of humor, and it felt very fresh after a handful of terrible hosts these last ten years (Billy Crystal not included).

Some of Jon's best lines:

"I do have some sad news to report. Bjork couldn't be with us. She was trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot her."

"Martin Scorcese, zero Oscars; Three 6 Mafia, one."

Jon was amused by the rambunctious rappers, noting that he would still hear them celebrating off-stage. They were the happiest people in the Kodak Theater that night.

Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep's introduction to Robert Altman's Honorary Oscar was priceless. I am not an Altman fan (except for MASH), but they did a good job with the tribute. And they looked like they were having fun! Take a cue, people! Diana Ossana, on stage to collect her award for co-adapting the screenplay for Brokeback Mountain, all bent over and not frowning, looked constipated. Could she have maybe cracked a little smile? It's an Oscar, for crying out loud!

Ben Stiller's green screen antics produced the sort of polite laughter that you are embarrassed about later. And I will stick to my story that Lauren Bacall simply had trouble with the prompter. She's too classy a lady to attribute her problems to anything other than technical difficulty.

The quote of the night undoubtably belongs to Reese Witherspoon, the first actor to genuinely act thrilled with their award.

"People used to ask June how she was doing, and she would say I'm just trying to matter. I know what she means."

I will also admit to whooping with joy (just like the producers and their staff) when Crash won for Best Picture. It was a multi-layered look at human beings. It was an important movie, and it's nice to see the Academy recognize just how important it was this past year.

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